My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
