So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
