True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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