Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
