I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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