1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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