Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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