Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize