You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
