im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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