I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize