Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
