So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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