I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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