you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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