I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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