wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I supernannyed him into submission
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
