Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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