If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
