Small penises have feelings too.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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