I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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