And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
