I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
