you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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