we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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