Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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