haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
