I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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