Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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