my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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