I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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