I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
