i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
