are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
