my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
