I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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