I wanna passion pit in your ass
someone owes me an orgasm
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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