i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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