So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
