I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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