Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"