The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.