i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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