whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
