I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize