I puked a lego.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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