Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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