Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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