You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
