You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
