I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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