Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
