Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize