STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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