brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry about my life...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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